Done
by AnimeLover796
Summary: I'm done being Alec Lightwood, i'm done with this sad existence, i'm just...done. Warning: abuse, future lemons. All human, no powers
1. Done

It's funny what images pop into your head when you think of child abuse. What do you picture? A beaten down, filthy apartment in the middle of nowhere. A drunken father with tattoos and a stained wife-beater that hasn't showered for weeks. A no good whore mother who ignored all the signs. And a shy, introverted kid who keeps to himself to avoid other people hurting him like his father.

Only one of those things is true for me, which is probably why no one knows my secret.

My name is Alec Lightwood, and I am physically, mentally, and utterly abused by my father.

Now, let me clue you into my life. I have two brothers and one sister. Jace is adopted, Max is the youngest, and Isabelle is the middle child, I am the oldest. My parents are successful businessmen, and are rarely home. We have an extravagant house, white picket fence and all, with fresh green grass, a double garage, a gorgeous porch, expensive cars, an inground pool, anything you could want.

Pictures of us hang in the hallways, well pictures of them. Pictures of Jace winning all his soccer games and throwing the winning 50 yard pass at the homecoming game. Pictures of Izzy crossing the finish line at a track meet, others of her at the top of the pyramid at a football game. Pictures of Max at his first baseball game, another of him and Jace at the beach playing volleyball.

I am in not one of these pictures.

It has always been, and always will be my job to take care of my young brothers and sister. It has been my job since I was seven, and according to my parents, old enough to take care of their children.

Although my parents were never really loving, things were okay, but that was only until one day things took a turn for the worst.

At the ripe age of ten, I was sure I was gay. Having never looked at a girl in a romantic way and never seeming to take my eyes off jace, I was sure pretty quick. As it turns out, my father was pretty sure too.

Between work being stressful, me being gay, and my mother having an affair; my dad snapped. You see, my father wasn't mad about my mother's lovers, for her had them too. He was just jealous that he wasn't good enough. But he never left her, and she never left him, strictly to save face. But still, it ate away at him.

Work was 24/7 for him, he liked it that way, but one day his strongest investors pulled out of his company, he lost millions, not that it really affected our lavish life style, but once again, he was angered that they left him for another company, because he wasn't good enough.

And finally, one day, he came early to pick me up from the park and saw me kiss another boy, an innocent 10 year old kiss. But that was it, I was no longer Alexander Lightwood his son, I was Alec lightwood, a _faggot. _

At first he didn't say anything, he pulled me by my arm into the car with a red and angry face, and drove until we reached a hotel just down the road from our house. I was scared and he knew it, he fed off of it, he got pleasure from it. It was silent all the way up into the room, and I was shaking. I remember getting to the room and waiting what seemed years before he slid the room key into the door.

I don't remember much after that.

All I really remember from that night was him pushing me into the room and beating me til was completely black and blue. Oh and don't forget red, there was a lot of red, a lot of blood. And then I blacked out after some point.

I remember waking up from a bucket of cold water being splashed on my face. Everywhere hurt. He spit in my face, and told me no son of his would be a stupid faggot. And in a moment of stupid boldness, I told him that if that was the case, he would have no son.

Needless to say, I didn't leave that hotel room for a while.

After a week of intense pain, he finally told me to get my gay ass back to the house and act like this never happened. And that I did. I walked home in the rain, finally coming through the door black and blue and in so much pain. Isabelle looked up worry in her eyes, and as she asked me how my friend's house had been (the story my father told my family). Suddenly she stopped halfway through, she ran to my side to ask me what happened, and I passed out.

I woke up later in the hospital with a bad case of pneumonia and police surrounding me asking questions, I told them I got jumped and didn't know what they looked like, and luckily when my father dragged me away at the park I had left my wallet there, so I just said it was stolen. I was easily believed, and that was the end of it.

Except not exactly the end of it.

After that my father grew to deal with the fact that I was gay, but his anger never faded, and it never would. He only makes it home about once or twice a month, but everytime he comes home I make sure no one else is in the house, cause sometimes I can't muffle my screams well enough.

He takes out whatever frustrations he has on me, sometimes he screams and calls me Maryse after my mother, calling her an ungrateful bitch and asks why he's not good enough while he chokes the breath out of me.

Sometimes he screams and calls me Morgenstern and swears he's going to kill me and beat his company while he repeatedly punches my face at full force.

Sometimes he just yells about how everyone in this family is a no good piece of shit except him while he decorates my back with horrible raised lashes from his belt, he favors when he manages to hit me with the metal clip at the end.

But the problem is never me. It's never because I'm gay. I'm just the one who fucked up first, and there for his punching bag, his puppet, his ragdoll. And somehow for the past eight years I've managed to keep this a secret.

I would leave, I really would, except he tells me everytime he's through with me that if I ever tell a soul what he did, he would beat Izzy, Jace, and Max so hard they would never see again. So I continue to lie to my family and tell them that all my bruises and broken ribs are from my karate and kick boxing class, they believe me, because who would ever think perfect daddy could do such a thing.

And I guess that's my fault. My fault for sending them fake postcards from my father so they think he cares. And making sure that on every birthday I have a gift to put in my mother's hand for Isabelle, Jace, and Max so they won't know she forgot, and its my fault for hiding my disgust when her face looks just as surprised as their's when they open the gift and shower her in thank yous because she didn't know what the gift was in the first place.

And its my fault for scheduling every doctors appointment as Robert, for signing every card as mom and dad, for signing every school permission slip as Maryse, for taking every family video, for food shopping, for making sure homework gets done, for putting Christmas presents under the tree from mom and dad, for secretly going to every parent teacher conference saying they were at work, for making it so they don't know the truth.

The truth that out father is an abusive fuck who doesn't know shit about his family. The truth that our mother doesn't love us, never wanted any of us, and just wants to look good in front of her snobby coworkers. The truth that I have been screwed out my own happiness over, and over, and over again.

The truth that I'm 18 and have never gotten a birthday present from my parents. The truth that I have to constantly sacrifice for them because for some dumb fucking reason I want to do it. Because if I don't they will have to live my life. And my life sucks, and I want my life to be over.

And if it's not an even bigger punch in the face that my parents don't love, my siblings that I try so damn hard to protect don't even really like me. At school I'm that weird kid with long hair covering his eyes in a black turtle neck and black hoodie with black pants to hide all his black bruises (not that they know that). I'm the kid with the headphones sitting alone in a cafeteria with hundreds of kids because he's not cool enough to sit with his quarterback brother and cheerleader captain sister, not cool enough to sit with anyone.

I'm the kid that either goes unnoticed, or is pushed into lockers. And quite frankly, I'm _tired. _I'm tired of being no one, I'm tired of the bullshit, I just wanna fit in, but it's hard to fit in when you flinch when someone tries to touch you or cringe when a girl flirts with you. I just wanna be a normal kid, I wanna go to school and talk to my friends and not be the secret parent of my siblings. I just wanna be me, whoever that is. I'm done being Alec Lightwood, i'm done with this sad existence, i'm just...done.


	2. Secret Amdirer

**AN: I want to start by thanking everyone that read and reviewed! It means a lot to me! Anyways here chapter 2!**

"_Alexander Lightwood!"_

_Alec looked up from his bed with wide eyes. He didn't know why he was surprised, he knew everytime his father came home what would happen. Sometimes he just hoped it would be different, but it was never different, probably never would be._

_Gaining some courage he slowly walked to his door. With slight hesitance he began to twist the knob when the door suddenly shot open, smacking him in the face and breaking his nose with a gut wrenching "crack" sound. Blood gushed from his face, but he didn't feel a thing. If he let himself feel, it would only hurt more._

"_Get the fuck up you coward! Everyone in this goddamned family is a weak ingrate! I put all my time and money into this family and this is how you fuck-ups repay me?! By being weak fucking cowards?! Unbelievable!"_

_Alec let his words fade into the background. He focused on this unbelievably familiar feeling of being scared. Fear had always been his best friend, it was the only friend he had. It was the one thing he could always count on, he would be afraid, and he would hate himself for it. Fear and self-loathing, the only stable emotions he had left. It was almost funny. Almost._

"_Are you even listening to me Maryse?! You stupid fucking whore!"_

_Instantly Alec knew this would be a bad one. Whenever he called him Maryse it was always a terrible beating, one that would take weeks of recovery, except he only had two short weeks until his father's next visit, so the wounds never healed._

_Suddenly Alec felt the crack of a fist against his Jaw. It was quickly followed by a swift kick to his ribs that literally took his breath away. He could feel his insides burning, god how he just wanted to die._

"_You answer me when I'm talking to you Maryse!"_

_Robert then picked him up by the front of his collar, turned him around, and slammed his face into the ground. His head was pounding, he knew what was coming next._

_Without an ounce of hesitation Robert ripped off Alec's shirt and threw it to the ground. _

"_Get against the wall you ungrateful bitch"_

_Alec knew if he didn't listen the beating would only get worse, so as fact as could (which really wasn't very fast) he limped over to the wall, poorly preparing himself for the worst._

_Not even a second later Alec felt the crack of Robert's belt against hi s tender skin. On his back, legs, and shoulders. The metal clip always hit in a well-aimed spot just at his lower back. He screamed. Robert laughed. He cried, Robert laughed some more. Eventually he black out, the pain taking over his senses._

And that was how I, Alec Lightwood, woke up for school this morning. In a crumpled ball of pain and misery against my bedroom wall. Apparently I had the good sense to wake up in the middle of the night and lock my bedroom door after the beating. And that, I was thankful for. No one should have to see my body after the years of damage Robert has done to it. It was hideous. Even I hated looking at it.

With every ounce of resilience I had I silently made the journey to my bathroom. I felt like my whole body protested and ached with a fire only known to hell. I struggled to hold in my groans of pain as I finally made it to the door.

Looking in the mirror I knew I looked like shit. One of my eyes was completely swollen shut. My jaw was completely purple and my nose was definitely crooked and veering way to far to the left.

My whole body was caked in blood and sweat. My hair was completely matted to my forehead because of it. My stomach was covered in knuckle shaped bruises. I didn't even bother to look at my back, I could feel how bad that looked.

Somehow ridding myself of my pants and boxers I made it into my shower not bothering to check the temperature. The water burned my skin in the most satisfying way, it was the only way I ever felt clean. I knew my skin would be singed red but it was the only comfort I had after the beatings. It's not like I could ever tell Jace and Izzy. _That'll be the day…_

Quickly soaping myself up I rinsed off and got out to get ready for the day, covering my back and abdomen in gauze and ace bandages to stop the blood flow. Then I sadly walked over to my make-up bag. On days when Robert got particularly rough I would have to put foundation on so that my wounds didn't look as bad, last night was one of those nights. And thank god for me it was 3 am when he came storming in and everyone was asleep.

Applying the cover up on my eye and jaw I brushed my hair down so it covered most of the damage that was done. Perfect. I threw on my favorite black band shirt and a crimson red hoodie with holes in the sleeves for my thumbs, maximum comfort. I carefully bent down to put on my jeans so I wouldn't reopen my back wounds and then gave myself a once over in the mirror to make sure nothing was to noticeable. Good as new, well not really, but I could pull it off well.

Making my way down stairs I instantly heard the quiet murmurs of breakfast small talk. Taking a deep breathe I willed myself to walk normally into the kitchen and poor myself a bowl of cereal.

Good cereal is normal, just be normal.

" Hey Alec what's wrong with your face!"

Alec _could _always count on Max to be blunt.

"Nothing much buddy I just got roughed up a little at boxing last night."

"That seems to happen to you a lot doesn't it?"

Shit. "Well, to be honest I'm not that good Max, that's why I'm taking classes." Wow, way to be a role model for your little brother….

Suddenly Jace glomped his way into the kitchen, an air of confidence and arrogance as usual.

"Don't worry Alec I'm sure you suck just as much as all the other lamos who take karate and boxing classes." Izzy and Max laughed, Alec hung his head in shame.

"Well this has been nice but if you guys don't mind I'm gonna head over to school now, you ready to go Max?"

"Yeah!"

"Alright bye guys."

As Alec walked by Jace slapped him on the back, "See you there man."

Alec all but doubled over and hissed in pain. He could feel his wounds reopening and the blood seeping into the bandages. The first day was always the worst.

"Alec you okay man?"

Alec looked up to see concern in Jace's eyes. He wouldn't let them worry, he couldn't. They didn't deserve to have his burden placed on them.

"Yeah I'm ok just a little roughed up and sore from last night that's all."

"Wow man must have been some beating"

_Yeah I'd say_

With that Alec walked on outside to his car running through his checklist of things to do that day. Drop off Max at school, go to school, try not to get bullied, pay attention in class, find a quiet place to have lunch, try not to fall asleep, get out after 6th period, go food shopping, write checks in Maryse's name for school lunches and sports uniforms, pick up Max, take Max home, go get a haircut, pick up Max's asthma inhaler, pick out Isabelle's birthday gift from him and his parents, go home, help Max with his homework, cook dinner, shower, read Max a story, put Max to sleep, and then possibly do his own homework if he didn't fall asleep by then. Great…

Finally having dropped off Max, Alec pulled up to his school at 7:15 and went to his locker. He went early to beat the early morning rush, avoiding people was what kept him out of trouble. Quickly putting in his combination Alec opened his locker only to have a note fall out. Reaching down he picked it up and read:

_Dear Blue Eyes,_

_You are gorgeous, and I'd appreciate it if you wore something other than black tomorrow, maybe like white or blue? I don't care, but I'd love to see you not look like you're at a funeral tomorrow. God knows a little color will help hide how pale your skin is. Anyways, please make this horribly in love man happy by brightening up my day with a little bit of color. I'll be looking out for you baby ;)_

_Sincerely, your not so secret- 215-060-0000 admirer_

_Call me baby!_

The note was written in bright pink ink and bubbly letters, and decorated in purple ink with purple hearts all around it. Alec searched for signs of a name, but there was none, just the phone number. Thousands of questions whirled through his mind. Who is this guy? What's his name? How does he know what locker is mine? Why the _fuck _does he like me? WHO IS THIS GUY?

Alec was damned well sure he never did anything to make anyone like him as a friend, let alone a lover. What the fuck is going on? Is this a joke? Then a thought suddenly hit him and stopped him in his tracks

….

….

"_How does he know I'm gay?"_

**OOOOHHH lots of suspense! Keep the reviews coming guys I'd love to hear your feedback or any constructive criticism! HMMMM who is mister admirer? LMAO just kidding you all know who the knight in shining armor is! Maybe you'll see him next chapter…**


	3. Change?

**WILL WE SEE MISTER KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR?! YOU'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT LADIES AND GENTS!**

Alec went to first period feeling more confused than ever. He never told anyone he was gay, not even his family, his dad being the obvious exception. Aside from that he wasn't attractive in the least, not like Jace and Isabelle who just seemed to radiate beauty, who the fuck was claiming to be in love with him? This had to be a joke. Alec planned to find out.

Quickly pulling out his phone before the math professor Mrs. Seelie walked in he decided to text his mysterious admirer.

"_Hi….um..i got your note. This is a joke right?" _It didn't take long for Alec to receive a reply.

"_Not at all gorgeous! I've had eyes for you since the day I learned of your existence!"_

Alec was stunned. Not only did he have a secret admirer but apparently it was love and first sight. This was exactly what he didn't need right now.

"_Look I don't know who put you up to this but it isn't funny. I don't even know who you are, how do you know me anyway?"_

"_You see more a lot more than you think you do sweetness. In fact, I can see you right now."_

Alec's head shot up in unmasked horror. Looking around the room he saw no one that was openly on their phone, nor anyone giving him any suspicious looks. Who was this guy?

"_Ok can you at least tell me your name?"_

"_Hmmm…no can do cutie. How about this? You let me take you on a date, and I'll give you my name. Deal?"_

Alec didn't even have to think about his answer.

"_No fucking way. For all I know you could be some creepy stalker. I don't need this. If this is some game I encourage you to knock it off."_

"_I'm actually insulted you think my feelings for you would be a game. I assure you I'm very serious. I was serious about my note too. I think a nice white v-neck would do wonders for your eyes babe. Add maybe some black straight legs and a black beanie, hmmm you'd be irresistible, especially if the shirt was a little tight showing off that hidden muscle, I might just faint. Seriously do it, you'd be in my dreams even more than you are now ;)"_

Alec couldn't help the red blush that dusted his cheeks, this guy was unbelievable!

"_Okay, how about we start slow? My name is Alexander Gideon Lightwood, I am 18 years old a senior. I have no hobbies and no friends. I have no desire to date anyone right now; In fact, I would appreciate being invisible this year just as much as I've been for the past 3 years of high school. You approached the wrong guy buddy, I have no desire to date anyone right now and I don't own a white v-neck. So, I hope this clears up the fact that IM NOT INTERESTED."_

"_Not interested right now? I'm sure with the right….persuasion I could get you to fall in love with me. I've waited long enough, and I've grown impatient. How about this blue eyes, Tomorrow you dress up for me and I'll tell you my name, along with how you know me, as long as you agree to go on at least one date with me. Nothing fancy, just a casual lunch and stroll in the park since your still in the closet and everything."_

"_I don't understand. I'm not popular, I don't have friends and I don't have enemies. How the hell did you know I was gay?"_

"_Oh please, first of all girls love you, you just don't notice them because you THINK your invisible. Everyone knows you're the school's regulation hottie who doesn't talk to anyone and keeps his gorgeous muscles to himself. Secondly, you don't date girls you, get dressed in the bathroom at gym, cringe at anything sexual in health class, and hang back and avoid any athletic ego centric male in this school. Those are the basic characteristics of a gay man that any other gay man would see if he had eyes. Not to mention, I would have pined after you even if you weren't gay and prayed for the fucking best. You're gorgeous babe, not to mention smart and humble. You're the perfect package, I have to have you."_

"…_Fine, what the hell, I'll wear the fucking clothes and go on a date with you. Please just stop talking, you're embarrassing me. None of those things are true anwyays. You better not tell anyone about this."_

"_YES! I won't let you down! We're gonna have the best day ever! Talk to you later sweetness! *Smooches*"_

Alec put his head down and sighed heavily. How the fuck did he just agree to a wardrobe change and a date when he planned to reject this clown? Unbelievable. The bell rang shaking him out of his thoughts. Apparently he had texted this guy the whole period and missed the lesson, great.

Standing up and heading for his next class Alec wasn't paying attention and rammed into another person at full force sending them both to the ground. Effectively knocking over both of their books and once again, opening his still aching wounds. Alec clutched his stomach in pain, this day could not possibly get any worse.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry!"

Or maybe it could. Looking up Alec saw possibly the most beautiful man he had ever laid eyes on. He was wearing bright yellow skinny jeans that seemed to be painted on his toned legs. He wore a bright purple cheetah vest that sat on top of a black fish net shirt, effectively showing bits of his defined stomach. His face was exotic, maybe Asian? He wore a sheen lip gloss with bright yellow eye shadow and dark charcoal eye liner, effectively making is bright yellow-green eyes pop.

He was gorgeous. And he was talking, and Alec wasn't hearing a thing.

"I'm sorry say that again?"

"I just asked if you were okay darling, you seemed to take quite a spill there."

"Oh…I'm fine! Just surprised that's all."

The gorgeous stranger smiled at him effectively making him lose his breath. He couldn't help but feel like this guy was familiar….

"I'm sorry… do I know you from somewhere?"

"That depends, if I say yes does that mean I get to hear more of your gorgeous voice?"

Alec blushed furiously. He could tell this guy was definitely a charmer. He was so smooth in his words, his actions were borderline graceful. He was…trouble. Alec wasn't allowed to like anyone, god forbid anyone find out his secret, he would be done for.

"I-I'm s-sorry, I have to go. Sorry again for knocking your books over, it was nice meeting you."

Alec made a beeline for the door. His heart was racing in all the wrong ways. He liked him, that couldn't happen.

"_What if he finds out my secret? He would be disgusted. I could never be with someone that beautiful, there's no way he'd put up with all my bullshit baggage. Besides, I have to much on my plate already, there's no time for relationships. _

Alec knew he was right, but he couldn't help but hope he was wrong. The rest of the school day passed by in a blur, and finally he got out and headed straight to the grocery store. Mentally checking off what they did and didn't need he finished shopping and brought the bags out the car. On his way out, he couldn't help but notice the shopping mall conveniently placed just right across the street.

_Oh right, I have to buy a white v-neck or whatever for this guy._

In a spur of the moment decision Alec walked across the street into the shopping mall. It was so large and intimidating, no wonder he never came here before.

Walking down the huge hall he couldn't help but ogle all the stores wondering which one was right for him.

"_Journey's? That looks like it more down my ally."_

Walking in Alec was immediately bombarded by a woman cashier asking if he needed help. Now, he didn't want to accept, but he was in desperate need of help, he was certainly no fashion guru.

"Um actually, do you happen to have…white v-necks?"

"Of course! Follow me!"

The cashier was actually really very nice. She helped Alec pick out a multitude of clothes. Including a white v-neck, some straight legs jeans in blue black and grey, as well as a nice leather jacket and many colored beanies. They walked around the whole store until Alec also added combat boots and vans to his wardrobe, with some very nice smelling cologne. He couldn't help it, he felt bad if he didn't buy everything the cashier recommended, she was just so nice.

"You know what would do you wonders dear? A haircut! There's a place just two stores over that does the best haircuts in town! I think it would do wonders for your eyes!"

Alec couldn't help but a nervous hand through his hair. Maybe she was right, it was a little on the long side…

"That actually sounds great, how about we ring all this stuff up and I'll go right over there. The cashiers face lit up, looking at her name tag he saw her name was… Tessa. She was really very pretty and ridiculously friendly. Had he been straight he could imagine himself pining for someone like her.

Finally paying for all his clothing Alec journeyed over to the hair salon stylishly named "Good Vibes." He was nervous but a good kind of nervous, excited. He hadn't been excited or even happy in years. It was both exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

Alec watched in wonder as all his hair began to fall off at the hand of the stylist's scissors. It seemed like he was losing part of himself, but he wasn't sure if he was happy or sad about it.

When the stylist was finally done Alec looked at himself in wonder, he was…attractive. He had never felt like he was good looking, only horribly disgusting in comparison to Jace or Isabelle, but now he felt…dare he say, good.

( here's the hair cut guys . )

Alec felt himself walk out feeling slightly confident. He was feeling better than he had in years. Looking at the clock his eyes widened and he hurriedly walked out to the car, he couldn't believe it was 3 o'clock already. He picked up Max, who animatedly gushed over his new change of hair the whole ride home. Luckily for him, Max's sports were canceled today due to rain, which cut his chores for the day in half. He quickly filled out checks for the school lunches, cooked dinner, and set the plates in the microwave for Jace and Izzy who probably had gone out with friends after school.

Worn out, Alec went upstairs and begrudgingly started his homework, only to receive a text message a half hour in.

"_Don't forget to dress nice for me sweety. You know how much I'm looking forward to it. ;) Goodnight blue eyes "_

Alec was afraid to admit that he was excited too. Looking at his bag of new clothes he couldn't help but feel that this was the start of a change for him. He never got his hopes up, his first priority was always going to be his family. But he wanted to fit in, and this was a good start. Right? I mean it certainly couldn't hurt. Finishing up the last bit of his homework he quickly changed into a comfy pair of sweatpants, and drifted off to sleep.

**SOOOO….THIS ONE ENDED ON A SOMEWHAT POSITIVE NOTE! WHAT DID YOU THINK?! AND DO YOU LIKE THE HAIRCUT? TELL ME YOU LOVED IT PLEASE! REVIEWS ARE MUCH APPRECIATED AND STRONLY ENCOURAGED BY ME! LOVE ME!**


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